A long time ago I had a friend who insisted that he couldn’t trust himself at all; whatever he thought up would be suspect. His proof text was Jeremiah 17:9:
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?
That does look pretty grim, doesn’t it? It’s Old Testament so it predates the provision of Jesus Christ and the regeneration of the Holy Spirit. But instinctively, I had trouble with my friend’s insistence that he was incapable of good. He loved God and served Him.
“Come on,” I said. “King David had some rotten spots in his heart, but God also called him a man after His own heart, so we know he wasn’t ruled by a desperately wicked heart. What about Moses? Elijah? There are plenty of others in the Old Testament who had favor with God and you know God doesn’t just hand that out without merit.”
My friend didn’t buy it. This was nearly 20 years ago and I kept pondering whether this was a regenerate or unregenerate heart that was desperately wicked and untrustworthy and whether a believer can ever trust her heart.
The resolution for this dilemma jumped out at me the other day. Look at the whole context.
Thus says the Lord:
“Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land.
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?
“I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” Jeremiah 17:5-10
You know that person who has things pretty nice? Family and friends that seem loving and supportive, a lifestyle that is heavier on comfort and ease than need and struggle. She’s able to accomplish what she puts her hand to, and she tends to come out on top, as others would view it.
But when you talk with that individual, the words and attitude that you pick up tell you that she is unhappy. She feels cheated by the universe and speaks as though everything that’s gone right is due only to her unceasing, unpraised labor.
And you know that other one who struggles pay her bills, has coped with a difficult personal situation for years, and keeps getting generally smacked around by life. Yet she always has a smile and a kind word for you and continually declares herself blessed as she gives a little bit more of herself to others.
She can count off a hundred amazing little things that make life sweet every day, things that your other friend is completely unable to recognize as blessings.
When I work so hard to figure things out and get circumstances to turn out favorably, my soul gets hard and grasping. It’s hard for me to see the hand of God in my life, including the countless ways He sustains me daily. Decent sleep in a decent bed. Another sunrise and another cup of coffee, all those little things, and the big things like getting the rent paid for another month and wonderful friendships
I start focusing on the hard stuff I can’t control and lose sight of what’s going right. Next thing I know, I feel like I’m living in a desert where there is no good, no water, and the very life is getting sucked out of me.
But in the times, like this last couple months, when I have no way to tinker and control, when things are moving just too fast to think as much as I want, trust is the only option—that or ratchet my anxiety level up to snapping point. But I’ve been around the block enough times to know that trusting is far more livable.
Yes, I get honest with God and identify what I’d really prefer, and I do what I can to head in that direction. But when it comes right down to what I can’t impact, I choose to believe that God’s huge and loving heart is for me and not against me. I choose to rest in His outcome, expecting that good will be the result, even if it isn’t immediately visible. When I’m tempted to stress and try to nudge circumstances harder, my best choice is to sit back and recall to mind the ways in the recent and far past in which God has not just provided what I need, but blessed in so many other little ways along the way.
I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! Psalm 27:13-14
At this point in the game, I cannot recall any situation that has left me in a worse place, in greater danger, greater unrelenting pressure. Now getting to that point may increase the overall discomfort for a while. But even that is OK, when I can see up close and personal, hour by hour, how things unfold, one step by one step. Tomorrow I have no answer for, but right now is fine. I choose to expect that tomorrow will be OK as well. Or even better.
And even if it’s not, even if I have no choice but to square my shoulders and do another day of life I don’t want to do—at the end of the day, God Himself is still with me. I’m still alive and I’m never without solace, and perhaps tomorrow will be the better day. Or the day after that.
And eventually tomorrow comes. It’s not so terrible. It’s decent. It’s littered with love touches in neat and unexpected ways.
When I trust in God instead of my ability or others, I am planted by streams of good water. My roots are deep enough. I can see the good come.
What does this have to do with a desperately wicked heart? Back to the context.
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?
“I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” Jeremiah 17:9-10
I’m not sure it matters if that deceitful heart is technically a regenerate heart or not, pre-Christ or beneficiary of the Holy Spirit. That heart is my heart on one spectrum any given season.
The Lord judges the peoples; judge me, O Lord, according to my righteousness and according to the integrity that is in me. Psalm 7:8
In my mind there is a difference between acknowledging that God will deal with each of us according to the integrity of our hearts (but hoping that He won’t really in our case), and inviting God to do that. The believer who can invite God to lay her conduct against His own standard and act on the differences has done some reckoning.
She has come to a place in which her conscience is as clear before God as she can manage it. She has spent the time in the Word and in prayer and meditation—she knows what the Bible says and obeys it. Every time, situation after situation, even when the earthly consequences of obedience may result in a reputation of weakness, foolishness, religious obsession, judgmental busybody, you name it. When nobody’s watching, she still does the right thing.
She’s inviting God to examine her, actively, ongoing, right now. Not keeping Him at arm’s length to step in when she finally concludes that something has to be done and she’s out of ideas.
She is inviting God to keep His promises. She’s convinced that God’s heart is abundant and loving and merciful toward His humble and trusting children and she moves toward obedience and blessing. She’s also keenly aware that this stance includes those promises about reaping what has been sowed in the other direction.
Here's the deceitful heart part: A lot of right and wrong we already know. In the places that she can no longer discern in her motives between self-serving and God-serving, she ultimately rests on God’s ability to understand her and mete out correction or encouragement where He sees she needs it, where she herself cannot see just now. Ultimately, only God can accurately search the true state of our hearts and give us opportunities to learn ourselves.
This is a strange place, but the gift of it is that God is even here. He’s especially here, because our resting and trust is exactly where He wants us. It’s exactly where He can do His best work. How amazing is this—that we need not fear falling prey to the baseness of our hearts? God is a better guide than my own discernment, if I will trust Him instead of my own flesh.
This was where King David was. It’s where my friend could never find himself.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16
Do you see the good come? Or drought conditions?
Where is your trust?
Toward the promise,
Lana
What’s the easiest for you when it comes to trusting God over yourself? What’s the hardest?
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I am continuing to pray for you Lana, for the comfort of Jesus and for His help to find you a new home.
That is a great passage , Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord. It is a process at times and also a life raft. It's hard when things don't go the way we want. When I was young, I thought God was going to bless me in everything I do. Well, you really have to give everything to God. And it is a blessing when everything you hope and dream don't come true, because not all your hopes and dreams are good for you. It's a sorting ground working our way through the wild jungle of life. God will lead us to havens in Him. And draw us closer to Him. Until the final day for all of us.
God Bless you Lana. I'm praying God will help you through your journey you are on now.<3