Surprise!
So...
Do I make a shiny announcement for a return date? Or do I just show back up as if I haven’t been gone for what--a year and a half?
Do I try to describe everything that’s happened? Or carry on and just drop hints and stories as I go?
Regardless of how those questions get answered, I’ve made the commitment to get back with Toward the Promise. My pride would like to carry on weekly as before, but I think I’m going to be happy with once a month for starters. I’ve thought of you often in my absence, with regrets.
What has been going on?
The company is doing well three years and some in, as we should be. There are new challenges every day, and we seem to mostly learn from our mistakes. Many days I’m astonished at what I spend all day doing, and I’m not sure why, but I didn’t see some of this coming. It’s challenging and gratifying.
I’m still writing poetry. I am very pleased to report that my sister and I have finally finished our poetry and photography collaboration. You can peruse Adding Light to Light here.
Please enjoy it and share it with anyone you think might like it. If you’d like a printed copy, let me know.
This last year, I started being able to read properly again. After John died, my concentration shrank to short scraps of thought, poetry, meditations. But shortly before Easter, I picked up some chewy theology and got drawn in. Just recently I plowed through some new ones by a couple of my favorite suspense writers. It’s been nice getting that part of my brain back.
I’ve done a lot of thinking about mindset this last year—the reality that you can shape your own success and momentum simply by finding and maintaining a particular perspective. You run into the organizing principle you want to live by and go that way. You find the people who speak the same language, whose ideals and ideas encourage you and challenge you in the direction you want to go. You absorb the teachings, explore the practices, work to understand the associated obstacles and how to move past them.
This is no mystery. It’s as common sense as the work of pursuing a specific career via schooling, apprenticeship, or mentoring. Likewise, you develop your skill as an artist by continually exposing yourself to the intricacies of your craft, practicing, experimenting, consulting other artists and resources. As Christians, we maintain connections with like-minded people, stay in our Bibles, stay in open-hearted conversation with God, and obey the best we can.
The thing that occurred to me—that has really given me pause—is that you can easily let that mindset go and slip away. You could stop tuning in to the messages and change your habits, start telling yourself different things and reinforcing other concepts. You can find a way to rationalize abandoning beliefs you once felt very strongly about. Intentionally or by neglect, in a short period of time, you can become someone else.
Most days I carry a thread of wonder at the person I’ve become. I’ve had the opportunity to look deliberately at the decisions I’ve made to come to this point. And I realize that it’s something that I must deliberately maintain. Again, not earth-shattering, but sobering. Do I like this person I’ve become? Am I going to stay this person...or go backwards? What does maintaining look like? What does going even further forward require—these plans I’ve committed to and the individuals I’ve invested in?
Maybe you have always been aware of just how much you can influence your own life trajectory, and I can’t say I’ve ever gone around oblivious of my responsibility for myself. On some level, though, this is new to me. And it’s not like I’m suddenly giddy with my own power. I’ll just keep on being me--and probably not very many of you notice anything different. I guess I’m just aware on a deeper level how carelessness or deliberate actions will curate my day-to-day.
So again, do I like me? If not, what’s going to make the difference? Tomorrow, and over the long haul? It all starts today.
Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23
Toward the promise,
Lana
Thanks for reading Toward the Promise! I’ve been gone for a while, but I intend to show back up regularly now. Sign up to get the next one straight in your email inbox. It’s easy to unsubscribe and no one else ever access your contact information.
Learning from your mistakes is always the best. In your company and life. Congratulations on finishing your poetry book. And as always, We still need to guard our hearts. Amen.